For the last few weeks I’ve been kind of quiet on my blog and around the social media outlets I typically frequent. I’ve been trying to focus on my WIP (work-in-progress) but life zinged a few things my way and I ended up feeling overwhelmed. That, of course, resulted me feeling depressed and frustrated. Not a good combination.
The house work was piling up, the puppy was ornery, and I stalled again on my WIP. I started wondering if I was just kidding myself with this dream of being a writer. I mean if I can’t even finish the first draft of my book maybe I shouldn’t be trying. Maybe I should just give up.
Yep, it was pretty dismal inside my head, until this morning. That’s when I started noticing things. Positive things. It was like life was sending me little messages everywhere I looked.
One of my corys hiding by the plants.
It started with my fish tank. I have a 75 gallon brackish water tank that holds a green-spotted puffer, two huge bala sharks, two big black fin tetras, five corys, two sucker fish, a zebra danio, a few glofish danios, and a couple of neon tetras. (The danios and neon tetras are small fish that we added not long ago from our 30 gallon because we decided upkeep on two tanks was more time-consuming than we could muster right now. )
Well, one morning this past week I woke up to a tank full of green water. There had been an outbreak, and the algae had taken over. Now, cleaning this monster tank was a two person job and it just so happened that my husband picked up a fourth shift at work which meant the tank had to wait. By the second day, I couldn’t see the little guys anymore and figured they had met their demise. That just added to my depressed state: I was a bad fish mommy.
But this morning, as I sat on the couch feeling a bit defeated, I saw a quick flash zip from one side of the tank to the other. Upon a closer look, I saw the zebra and glofish hanging out together and soon the neon tetras had joined the group too. They had made it after all. Even when the water was murky and green these little guys didn’t give up.
That thought resonated with me through the rest of my day, and soon I started seeing other things. For instance, I saw a tiny baby lizard without a tail. Obviously he had faced a major challenge in life but he sure didn’t give up. So what if he’d have to grow a new tail? That was a whole lot better than being eaten.
Jake's smiling for the camera.
And Jake the puppy didn’t let a bit of gray sky and rain ruin his day. He couldn’t romp around outside like he normally does, but he sure did give his inside toys a workout. He’s always in a good mood – see that smile?
It was like the world around me was giving me advice when I needed to hear it the most. It said, “Don’t give up in the face of a few tough challenges.” I decided that was awesome advice. So from now on I’ll swim to the other side, even if I can’t see it in the green murky waters, and I’ll do it with a smile because its better to be alive than be eaten.
I’d love for you to share your experiences with me. Has life ever sent you messages before? How do you handle things when life gets overwhelming or stressful?
Oh Jennifer, hang in there girl! We’re all going through something. Could I tell you a story or two. But not here. 🙂
Please don’t give up! Sometimes it’s such a fight and we’re tired of pushing. I think that’s when we need to listen to our bodies and take a break. Catch our breathe and then we’re ready to move forward. I can’t tell you how overwhelmed I’ve been lately. I skipped a post this month because of it.
The point is to keep on going. We’re not in a race. We will evenually get to the finish line. Does it really matter when that is? You’ll get there and with a better product to share with everyone. And we’ll all still be there to support you!
I’m sending you a great big hug! 🙂
Aw thanks, Karen!
I really appreciate the support and encouragement. I don’t plan on giving up. I think it was just the frustration building doubtful thoughts in my head. 😉
I’m still pushing forth and plan to get this book written and published. Like you said – does it really matter when? No, just as long as I get it done then I’ll be happy.
I think the first book is harder too because of the learning curve. At least that’s what I’m telling myself! LOL
And anytime you want, we can talk offline – you have my email! 😀
First off, love your blog! It’s very pretty. Secondly, I do understand your getting down. It happens to me off and on, and it’s something I’ve learned to fight through. I think looking for the positives in life, and remembering how far you’ve come from where you started, is a great way to pick yourself up. Good luck!
Hi Stacy!
Laird Sapir (from the WANAs) designed the website for me. She’s a rock star when it comes to that stuff. 🙂
You are so right, I need to remember how far I’ve come. That will most definitely motivate me.
Thank you for stopping in!
sounds totally normal to me. Everyone has doubts and fears and disappointment. but the difference between them and us is we got up off the floor and got busy again. Just like you’ve done. congratulations. It’s wonderful.
Thanks so much, Louise. I appreciate your encouragement.
We all need to take a break from time to time. And when you’re writing, blogging and doing social network…in addition to running a household and saving fish, it can get overwhelming after awhile. Glad you’re taking some time for yourself…and that you can still see the positives around you. 🙂
Hi Kristy!
I agree, life can get crazy. But I do try really hard to stay positive, I just need to work on taking more time for me. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
I’d say you’re right on the money with the signs. Take it from someone who was in that dark place for years: “And this too shall pass”. You ever fall into a funk again, hit me up, and I’ll set you straight. One of my favorite quotes is from James Lee Burke: “Perfect confidence is awarded to those less talented as a consolation prize.”
When I was writing BJ, I based Frank’s character on a guy who used to work down the hall from me. I never talked to him, though, afraid he’d ruin my ideal. He eventually got another job and moved on, but I did run into him a few more times after that. In fact, each time I saw him was within a week of the book winning awards. What does that tell you?
Mike,
I love that James Lee Burke quote! Thank you so much for sharing that with me.
It means a lot to have so many willing to support and encourage me along my journey.
Oh, and that tells me that you wrote a really good book – which I already knew! LOL
It’s amazing when you see those signs and they resonate. I have found that I depend on signs like that because this writing thing is so hard sometimes, even if you love the work and are excited about your WIP. There aren’t words to explain why you sometimes fall in a hole, so it makes sense that getting out of the hole often comes from wordless moments. On another note, animals (even if they aren’t doing the impossible) have the power to pull me out of depression. Just watching or petting or sitting by them. Can’t explain it.
Sara,
“There aren’t words to explain why you sometimes fall in a hole, so it makes sense that getting out of the hole often comes from wordless moments.”
Wow, that is so true.
I think I’m going to pay more attention to the signs around me, especially when I need a little guidance.
Animals help me with depression as well. I have two loving kitties and a puppy that can never get enough attention. lol!
They tend to help me so much when I’m down.
Thanks for visiting with me today and sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it.
I like how you tied in your feelings with the fish tank in your story! And I’m so glad you started to ‘see the light’.
I agree with Karen. When I’m over-whelmed, (and we ALL go there) I stop and try to re-focus (after shedding a few frustrated tears), because I’ve learned that whatever you focus your attention on, you get more of. I also try to remind myself that everything comes in “it’s” time, and “it’s” time isn’t always my time. I started writing my (non-fiction) book over 20 years ago and at one point, made it my focus. Then life got in the way (my step-daughter-in-law passed away 6 weeks after giving birth to twins), and as I took on the role of “grand-mom”, I accepted that it wasn’t time. Now, 14 years later, when I look at what my WIP was then, and what it is now, I’m grateful that I didn’t get it out, because now it is so much better! But every day, for those past 14 years, I’ve thought about my WIP at least once a day. But not as a negative in that I couldn’t get to it. I thought of it with excitement, as in, “Ooh I have to write that down.” Or “Oh, that will be great in the book.” So I was working on it, but now actually working on it!I also learned to stop telling myself, “I’ll be happy when…”. “Everything will be better when…” and try to focus on being happy NOW and seeing what’s better NOW.(Not always easy but practice makes it easier.) Feel better and know that when the time is right for your WIP, everything will fall into place, the signs will show you the way, and it’ll be even better than you imagined. 🙂
Debbie,
What a remarkable story and so inspiring. I think I’ll do exactly what you said and try to start focus on being happy NOW.
Thank you for sharing this with me!
Hang in there Jennifer. We can be each other’s support team. I have been feeling the same way lately and I needed to pick myself back up and push forward. I agree with what others are saying, it’s normal for us all to go through this at times. It’s human nature. I’m so glad you saw the signs and are getting back on that writer’s horse. You were meant for it. It’s a long haul. But we are here for you.
Debra,
If there is anything I can do to help motivate you or help pick you back up and get you going, you just let me know! All of the WANAs have been so supportive, and I want to give back in any way I can. So you email me or FB me whenever you need to. I’m here for you as well!
Thank you!
Never give up. We’re all going through dark moments of doubt. In those moments you have to be kind to yourself. There’s a saying to love the kids the most when they deserve it the least. It goes for our inner child, the creative self too.
You could try to push through it and write boldly uninspired crap. Or write something entirely different for a while, like prompts. Or just bribe the Muse with all the creative treats you both love. She will eventually come out of hiding when you just keep showing up, one way or another.
Your corys and dog are really adorable.
Reetta,
You are absolutely right, I do need to be kind to myself during the dark moments. And all the other moments too. I forget that sometimes.
Thank you for reminding me of how important that is.
I really appreciate your encouragement and I won’t give up.
🙂
I see it as a cycle. We sometimes fly high and then the slide happens until we are swimming the depths. But I have found it is in the depths that the magic happens–something is fomenting (ugh, sounds disgusting) but just as plants need the compost, our subconscious mind needs those down times (sometimes even illness happens). It causes our conscious mind to lessen its perfectionist grip about what is not getting done. Have faith that it will all cycle back up again with something new and surprising to show for it.
I’ve been feeling worn out lately too, like there’s just not time for everything. And then life kicked me in the teeth. I’ve been trying to do the same as you and search for those little happy things. Hang in there!
At least you get daily boogie installments. 🙂
Life is a series of seasons! Like the cold of winter, the new growth of spring, the sunny warmth of summer, and the shedding of leaves in the fall, we all go through these changes.I firmly believe in the “law of Attraction”…that which you focus on is what you bring to you. When I get these times of feeling overwhelmed,depressed, tired,and all that goes with them, I try to start focusing on nature and the gifts we get too busy to notice when we are busy… the bunny that plays in my yard, the smell of lavander growing by the patio,the rainbow that appears to end in the road ahead of me, and bouncing with joy of my yorkie when I come in from work…and the list goes on. I think it’s important to remember that all of us go through these times and you are not alone ! Hugs.